Overcoming The Mistrust Caused By A Spouse’s Lack Of Passion

Posted by joanne on February 12th, 2010 at 02:05pm

Even the best marriages occasionally, suffer from a dull period. If you and your spouse find things have lost their spark and you are thinking of taking drastic measures, it is important to take a step back and consider your options. Instead of jumping to conclusions about what your spouse is thinking, make the commitment to get through your problems. Granted, there are times when things will not turn out as you had planned, but instead of giving up on your marriage, it is important to feel as if both of you have done all you can to save your relationship. Perhaps you and your spouse are not able to conquer the problems that exist on your own, consider consulting a counselor. If you live in Arizona, you have the option of speaking to Scottsdale therapists or seeking Phoenix counseling. You may also have options closer to your city. Regardless of the location of your marriage counselor, there are tools couples can utilize if they are dedicated to their marriage. Initially, it may seem hopeless, but if two people want the same things, there is a good chance you can make it work.

The first step to committing to a good marriage is to agree to be honest with each other. This may be what brought you to this crossroads. There are some people who are able to share and be open enough with one another that each knows what to expect. Occasionally, the spark fades from the relationship, and it one spouse that alerts the other to a problem. If your spouse opens up to you about how they are feeling, it can be tough to not react poorly. Initially, try to remember is to be thankful for their honesty, even though it causes you pain. Second, do not overreact. Just because feelings have changed does not mean the relationship has to end. Before causing irreparable harm your spouse respected you enough to come to you first. Chances are, if your spouse has been feeling the relationship is lacking something it once had, you may have the same concerns. The next step for the two of you is to try to recapture the feelings you once shared. Spend time alone together. It could be a matter of being caught up in everyday life. Have a relative watch your children for the weekend and spend a romantic weekend at home or away. It may be possible to recapture your initial spark, but it will take work.

If it turns out your spouse has opted to see someone else, try to remain calm. You are faced with two choices at this point in your marriage. You can either leave the marriage without a second thought, or you can hear them out and decide if you want to work through the problem. Once your spouse cheats on you, there are going to be issues to deal with besides the spark slipping away. In addition to rebuilding, you are also going to have to learn to trust your spouse again and establish intimacy. It is important to realize you are at a critical point in your marriage and you may need the help of a professional.

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