Social
March 3rd, 2010 at 08:14am
Under Social
Leisure Activities
Often a couple find that they have very different interests, and that they don’t really enjoy each other’s activities. A young man may be very interested in sport, and have a commitment to a tennis club which is long-standing, and which involves quite a lot of socializing after matches. His new partner may find this very boring, and wishes that he would join her on shopping trips instead, an activity which he finds uninteresting.
The two competing interests each form a kind of triangle for the relationship, and the problem may become so acute that it jeopardizes the relationship. The answer is to discuss the competing interests as a couple, trying to find a compromise which suits both partners. This could take the form of a timetable, in which both partners agree to give up some of their leisure activities for the sake of the relationship. If this cannot be done, and if both the activities annoy the opposite partner too much, they should perhaps think about the future of the relationship before they enter into too deep a commitment together.
Friends
Similar problems can arise with friends of both partners. If Partner A cannot get along with Partner B’s friends, a decision may have to be made, as with the problem with parents, as to which relationship Partner B is most committed to, and he/she will have to make arrangements to reduce the conflict, perhaps by meeting the friends without the partner or by dropping the friends for the partner’s sake.
Work Problems
Some jobs are very demanding, and one partner may be in such a job, with the need to work long hours or to spend time on long business trips, with no possibility of changing this without loss of earnings or damage to their career. However, the other partner may resent the time that their partner spends at work, and once again a triangle has formed which causes tension in the relationship.
The person with the absorbing job may find it hard to understand why the other partner can’t accept the importance of his/her career, while the other partner finds it hard to see why the demands of the job are given such high priority. Again the solution will depend on how important each partner rates the relationship and the job. There isn’t always an easy solution, but talking and trying to understand each other is the best that can be done.
Get free relationship advice to help resolve any issues or relationship problems you are experiencing or worried about. Strong and healthy relationships take time and effort to build and nurture. Find out how to start strengthening yours today.
By Kym
March 3rd, 2010 at 06:02am
Under Social
Both partners in a relationship are usually in touch with their own parents, and although this is usually a great support for them, it can sometimes cause difficulties. Relationship problems may arise where, say the parents of Partner A do not approve of their son/daughter’s partner, and conflict arises.
The dilemma that Partner A has is to keep both relationships going without losing either his/her parents or his/her partner. It may take quite a lot of skill to balance this situation, for example not challenging either the partner or the parents too heavily when they express their opinion of the other, and managing to keep the peace at times when the two antagonistic parties meet.
Christmas and birthdays may be a particularly tense time for partners in this position. One trap to avoid is talking negatively about one party to the other, because a kind of amplification process may build up, in which the person being talked to begins to sense that they can win the battle and detach the partner from the other party.
If you are forced to make a decision between partner and parents, this can be difficult, and your decision will have to depend on how much is at stake (e.g. the welfare of your children) and on how much you value your partner and your parents.
Other relationship problems with families of origin (in-laws) is when Partner A’s parents want to be a controlling influence in the relationship, especially where the rearing of children is involved. Their advice may be very good, but when Partner B (often the male in this situation) is bypassed in making important decisions about the children, for example about education or religion, he may feel neglected and resent it.
This situation may arise especially when children are very young, and their mother is insecure about parenting. The father may feel really out of touch, and either becomes a non-participant parent or fights for his parental influence, with negative consequences for the relationship.
The best relationship advice, as is often the case, is for both partners to act as a team, to consult each other as much as possible and to discuss Partner A’s mother’s advice together before deciding whether to follow it.
Case example
Liam (45) is married to Siobhan (42) and. they have two boys, aged 10 and 8. Liam’s mother, who has not worked outside the home, used to be very close to Siobhan, meeting her regularly to take the children out, and giving the children presents. There was a serious argument, however, between her and Siobhan, and Siobhan has now refused to see Liam’s mother without Liam being present. The mother is very upset by this, and puts pressure on Liam to arrange meetings with Siobhan and the children.
In therapy the couple agreed that it would be sensible for Liam to see his mother alone on a regular basis, and to arrange frequent family meetings including her, himself, his wife and children.
The mother was not completely satisfied by this arrangement, but accepted it, and at the eldest son’s first communion there was a pleasant family gathering with all attending. The important thing in this case is that the couple worked out their strategy and then put it into practice with Liam’s mother and the children.
By Kym
February 13th, 2010 at 09:06am
Under Social
Some folks end their relationship with a clean break. Both parties agree that they shouldn’t be together. Others will simply end the relationship on their terms. While they are done with the relationship, the other person will still wish to stay together. This relationship can be complicated, as the person who stopped the relationship must deal with the ex who needed to stay together. There will be a point when your ex wants to get back together. Rather than making a daft decision, follow these five tips. These pointers will help you to make the best call.
Consider your First Relationship
If your ex wants to get together again, you need to think about the relationship you had. Why did you split in the 1st place? You want to think about the end of your first relationship before you consider another one. If the problem is something that can’t be repaired, you should not even bother with a reconciliation attempt.
Think about your Life Now
You want to make sure that you think about your life now when thinking about getting back together with an ex. You could be ready to give it a shot, but have you got the time? Are you in a spot in your life where you can handle a full relationship? The answers to these questions will help you in your final decisionmaking process.
Bide your time and Kind
It is important for you to be patient and kindness to your ex. Theyare dealing with a large amount of emotions. You need to ensure that you do not make these emotions stronger. Show patience with them and hear what they have to say. This conversation may be handy to you, as it may help you to make up your mind.
Talk To your Buddies
Talk to your friends about the situation. Talk to them about how your ex feels, how you feel, and all of the different factors that will affect your call. It will be good for you to say these things out loud to somebody, as it can be useful to talk it through with someone.
Make the Choice On Your Own
In the end, you need to be certain that you are making the decision on your own. You should not make this decision based mostly on your ex, or on your buddies. Take yourself and your own feelings into consideration. This may be the base for your last call.
You need to make sure that you’re looking out for yourself. While you should take the words of your ex and your pals into account, you want to make the decision on your own. Think about what’s best for you when your ex wants to get back together. When you suspect your own interests, you’ll always make the right call. A great guide for relationship issues is Breakup Reversed, you might want to give it a try.
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By joanne
February 12th, 2010 at 02:05pm
Under Social
Even the best marriages occasionally, suffer from a dull period. If you and your spouse find things have lost their spark and you are thinking of taking drastic measures, it is important to take a step back and consider your options. Instead of jumping to conclusions about what your spouse is thinking, make the commitment to get through your problems. Granted, there are times when things will not turn out as you had planned, but instead of giving up on your marriage, it is important to feel as if both of you have done all you can to save your relationship. Perhaps you and your spouse are not able to conquer the problems that exist on your own, consider consulting a counselor. If you live in Arizona, you have the option of speaking to Scottsdale therapists or seeking Phoenix counseling. You may also have options closer to your city. Regardless of the location of your marriage counselor, there are tools couples can utilize if they are dedicated to their marriage. Initially, it may seem hopeless, but if two people want the same things, there is a good chance you can make it work.
The first step to committing to a good marriage is to agree to be honest with each other. This may be what brought you to this crossroads. There are some people who are able to share and be open enough with one another that each knows what to expect. Occasionally, the spark fades from the relationship, and it one spouse that alerts the other to a problem. If your spouse opens up to you about how they are feeling, it can be tough to not react poorly. Initially, try to remember is to be thankful for their honesty, even though it causes you pain. Second, do not overreact. Just because feelings have changed does not mean the relationship has to end. Before causing irreparable harm your spouse respected you enough to come to you first. Chances are, if your spouse has been feeling the relationship is lacking something it once had, you may have the same concerns. The next step for the two of you is to try to recapture the feelings you once shared. Spend time alone together. It could be a matter of being caught up in everyday life. Have a relative watch your children for the weekend and spend a romantic weekend at home or away. It may be possible to recapture your initial spark, but it will take work.
If it turns out your spouse has opted to see someone else, try to remain calm. You are faced with two choices at this point in your marriage. You can either leave the marriage without a second thought, or you can hear them out and decide if you want to work through the problem. Once your spouse cheats on you, there are going to be issues to deal with besides the spark slipping away. In addition to rebuilding, you are also going to have to learn to trust your spouse again and establish intimacy. It is important to realize you are at a critical point in your marriage and you may need the help of a professional.
By joanne
February 11th, 2010 at 05:41pm
Under Social
Nothing says “You’re special” on Valentine’s Day like a grand candy gift basket! Are you struggling to find the perfect gift for the woman in your life?
Many women, even those who happen to be counting calories, will not deny your decadent gift of chocolate or other delectable candy on the big day. This is the time and excuse to partake…just a little bit.
A great candy favorite to consider which has become quite popular is the retro candy basket. This could be especially wonderful if you are with your high school girl and eating these special old fashioned candies takes you both back down memory lane to the times of your youth. Remember all the great walks that you took and the nights at the movies? What a fun option!
If you are choosing a present for someone you are in love with, do not shy away from candles, jewelry, mouth watering chocolates or even lingerie. Women adore these types of romantic Valentines gifts and will appreciate it greatly. Bring a bit of romance back into your life for this special occasion. You will not regret it!
If your pretty girl cannot eat sugar for one reason or another, but she does love the taste, there are actually some great sugar free options available when it comes to buying online gift baskets these days. There are even websites that sell baskets of goodies for diabetics and of course there is always the standby fruit basket if she is not into chocolates. This can be especially a good option because much of the delicious fruit will be off season at your local market at this time of year.
Of course any kids on your gift list will ALWAYS love a basket piled high with candy. Include a good toothbrush and instructions of how NOT to get a tummy ache! Watch the kids because they will eat everything in one setting if you let them.
A good alternative to candy and chocolates might be a cookie gift basket if you have someone in your life that adores good old cookies and milk. You can find pretty much any sort of cookie when looking for special <online gift baskets> these days. Options are abundant! Choose from chocolate chip, peanut butter, sugar cookies and more. Cookie baskets also come in a wide variety of these, so you can get almost any chape of cookie that you like.
Let’s not forget to include the men in our discussion of candy and Valentines. Though traditionally it seems the men are responsible for this holiday for the most part, women also like to give to the men in their lives. He may appreciate a great sports or movie gift basket to your romantic ones but he may share in some delicious chocolate with you of course.
Let’s make this a Valentine’s day to remember! Pull out all the stop. Plan a wonderful night including a very romantic dinner or night out on the town. Your sweetheart deserves to know that you think she is special. Use this holiday to let her know and your relationship will grow that much closer.
Happy shopping and Happy Valentine’s Day!
By joanne
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